Inner Guardian of Our Minds

Before this, I would have never thought that confronting a loved one would be so difficult. At first, it’s scary because you want to tell them the truth, that they’re hurting you and you just want to be honest to lift that weight off your chest. You don’t know what their reaction is going to be, you don’t know what they’re going to say or if they’ll say anything at all. If they’ll accept it and apologize or if they’ll reject you and get angry. That’s where I went wrong, I believed it would go over fine, that they would have accepted it and said sorry, that they would change. And I was wrong, I had gotten my hopes up even though being scared and hesitant, my heart took over and not my mind. I believed she would accept it, that she would accept me because I was the only one that she had. She was silent, she listened and waited and as soon as I finished spilling my guts, my blood, my love and this stone I was carrying. And she proved I was wrong, not terribly wrong or horribly wrong because it brings along a realization that I had forgotten before. This is no dramatic life story, nor a trip for sympathy. It doesn’t matter what loved one, or even if they are a loved one. But that you remember to never get your hopes up, to not listen to your heart or gut but to listen to your mind. That when it tells you to not expect a certain reply, certain actions or certain reactions to listen. The most loving person, the best of friends and the stranger of strangers can surprise you, they can turn around and walk the other way leaving you with the sudden realization that what they did was unexpected. Always remember that there might be another side to it all.

All the crawlies

B&W set

A few randoms

Outer Images

I think some people stereotype most people as put into groups, normal, abnormal, beautiful, not beautiful, etc. My idea is that everyone will have their own tastes as to what they find attractive and what they don’t find attractive, they might find curved women to be beautiful and skinny girls to be less attractive, as having their own opinion and that being their taste, other people will have the same. Some people might find that skinny girls are far more attractive than curved women, everyone has their own opinions, preferences and ideas as to what they find attractive. Everyone can be and is beautiful, we underestimate who and what we are sometimes by thinking of what other people might think, what they might consider us as or what label they will put us under, that isn’t the only thing in life as there is far more beyond that, far more beyond me and you than our outer image. It is sad that some of the media uses a lot of skinny women or something along those lines to present what they are advertising. Sometimes you will notice it is a fad to present ourselves in the same image or think that’s a proper image. But at a point on this earth, in our culture or countries, there wasn’t media. There wasn’t TV’s, magazines, modeling, actors and actresses. There wasn’t something to see and think “That’s what I should look like!” maybe a few times there was “To be as pretty as his wife” or etc. There was everyday life, surviving, taking care of each other and the community as a whole. Of course as today, it is completely and one hundred percent different. And it’s, in my opinion pathetic to think that we rely on these things to practically tell us who to be, what to be and who and what to look like. And to be as low for some people to think that just because they are from a certain race they are ugly in sense of assumptions towards that culture and race in general. Sometimes that brings low self esteem, a ton of things can, the simplest things and sometimes the most strangest things. But you have to think past it, remember who you are and what you can achieve, where you come from and what inspires you the most. Besides the countless and endless times beauty will be brought up in life, you aren’t fully living it until you make goals for yourself, to not let anyone get in the way of them because of what they say or what silly label or group they put you under. Because of a silly pack of teenage girls saying something to you in high school, because of a guy of who you find attractive isn’t attracted to you. You have your own personality, and you build it into something grand throughout your life, your past becomes a story, your choices will teach you by learning from the good and bad, you have dreams and some of those you will achieve and some of them you won’t. Have fun, love life, enjoy every minute of it to the very last, set the most outrageous goals and dreams in your life; no matter how crazy they are, be who you want to be. Don’t be held back. Don’t grow old and think oh I wish I did this, or regretting not doing something because of something as silly as looks. We have personalities and a past in our life, a place where we came from and what our culture was and what they grew to be and what they achieved in the past, a story for every scar. I believe that is what makes a person beautiful, as it is to say, there is far more to a person than what you are presented with.

A Little Spoonful of Inspiration

I've reached a certain moment, with inspiration, hope and a very much determined internal drive that tells me this is the moment to move on and get ahead of all the decisions I have made in the past, good and bad. You regret a lot of the options you have turned down because of the outcome or what it may effect but I've learned life is too short for that, you have to take every moment possible and enjoy it. There will be difficult times where you second guess a decision and still think of what you are letting go or leaving behind or left behind but you also remember that with being willing and believing, it is your choice if you want to find happiness. There is thing's you will be unhappy with in life, some of those things you can change and some of those things you have to let go of or get through, maybe those times won't be easy but there is always good times in return of that. You have to set goals and dreams for yourself, no matter how outrageous or crazy they are. Some of them you will achieve and some of them you won't. You can't allow things to hold you back, in some ways there is a logical sense in which to choose but you can't allow everything to hold you back in life. If you don't you could end up being eighty and thinking oh how I wish I did that, that I achieved more what you set for yourself. Of course you are going to constantly find another wish or dream or goal, maybe you won't reach some of them. It will be tough patches in life but hey, if you get through that your a stronger person on the other side. Maybe you won't achieve greatness in life as some may consider to be a scientist or to be known in the world, I think as long as you achieve greatness in the sense that you find it great, that you are content with it and have reached these than it is more of an achievement than any. You will always meet different people along the way, you will learn things from them and that could be one of the best things. Learning about a whole different culture or going to see places a lot of people haven't seen before, or hitting all the tourist spots in so many places. Anything could be your goal or dream or present life and in some ways you will find them to be the most rewarding of all. Don't allow things to hold you back from who and what you want to be, be yourself and you'll be one of the most genuine people of all.

Life's moments

This is a cement man made....uh technically it's an old system they used for the drinking water, it didn't go through a cleansing process, its just a natural waterfall with a cement wall at the bottom holding the water into what is now used as a swimming hole, very few of the locals know its there and the ones that do never go there do to cougars and other wildlife especially in the warm season. The rest of the flowing water goes down onto more cement and into a half of a culvert. They still had a ladder going to the top, rusted steel or metal that is only tied onto the side and a tree by thin yellow rope, wouldn't recommend doing that again. That is also where a Tsunami evacuation trail is going up. Went up there with a few friends this time and one of them was off just wondering and she heard rustling, so came back and as we were heading back down the trail we could smell harsh cat piss that is almost ten times worse than a house cat, a sign of a cougar basically. After you go up there and are having fun and enjoying it and coming down and experiencing that isn't all that fearful but as you think about it, it's like one of those life moments where you say "Could that have been it?" but I grew up with that stuff and it's not so fearful in the way that you can run into these animals but for the fact that you share territory with these animals and they step into yours without you even being aware that it was there until you find an indication they were there, although they can leave close to no sign at all. The tourists you meet are usually hesitant on going to places that way or even the harsher hikes over the mountain because of wildlife and also mother nature, so it's a great place to go if you don't want to run into anyone but having supplies and knowing what to be prepared for is a good thing. Which is sometimes being prepared for the unexpected. Very few locals will bring you to these spots, not because of it being dangerous or the mere fact of not wanting to show it you, it's mainly because the heart of the locals is gone, you can't find many of them that are wanting to do that and that are willing to do it themselves. Luckily enough this spot isn't far from one of the lodges and a few houses, so the guides would most likely tell you where it is. But some of the most amazing spots in a small town to go and explore to if you have the balls is where most of them won't take you to. That is what I miss about a small town is to have the choice of doing it yourself and go to these places, but if you can also bring someone there that has never been to that environment or seen the wildlife or experience that type of adventure before is well it's almost an inspiring moment to show another person that this is what you live in, that is what you grew up around learning and knowing. Enjoy, that's me in the picture taken by a friend and there is more of these posts to share!

Paint VS Write

Why do people that paint, wish to write? And why do people that write, wish to paint? Words sometimes seem too bold or blunt, a word that one does not understand can still be defined; translated. The meaning behind a painting can be hidden and masked, the reader(viewer) has to find meaning and search within as to what the painting may resemble or mean, or the story it holds in its canvasy flesh. Yet the meaning they find can be their own, a personal translation. Only the painter may be the only mind to tell its story, but sometimes that takes away the beauty of allowing a viewer to relate to the translation they were able to create. A writer can do the same, masking the meaning behind his or her words. They can write of a cold November day, the snow on the ground, the wind crisp and cold. Yet it could be the story of a lovers quarrel. The reader, not knowing the authors written meaning, is given the chance to relate and translate. The writer similar to painter, and painter to writer. They can paint the colors and landscape of each poem, the gift of sculpting and molding the words for the reader to view; imagine, as a painting in their mind. Each word and sentence adding up, painting each detail, each scene the author describes views as a little masterpiece.

Russian Banya

In Russia and many places across the world there is a different term or meaning behind the Sauna. As a Healing, Social Role, and the spa and beauty culture. I found the Russian and Finnish terms in the Media, and I include one of my favorite shows “Departures”. So not only interest of culture but also the love for traveling and my wonderful fascination with Russia! In Russia, the hottest sauna’s and the interesting tradition of beating other sauna-goers with birch branches, “Venik” in Russian. During winter people sometimes or usually go have a swim, rinsing off in the lake and even run and roll in the snow naked! In some parts of Russia the Banya is most known as a public bath house, a large setting with three different rooms. A Dry sauna where the beating with birch branches takes place, a pool of cold water to relax, cafeteria, and a large area with marble beds to have massage. To be traveling in that location and get to see so many different parts of Russia and the many cultural, society and social areas of it would be amazing, not only that but to experience the activities there. As does so many other places sound amazing, with almost every aspect of learning and understanding a small part of that culture would be an honor in any place!

English Bay, Vancouver B.C.

Reminisce, Illuminants of Weeping Stardust

Each day the sun sets, it rises. Burns bright and shines, sometimes hides behind a mask. The rain, thunder, lightening and heavy cloud. We rise and we set, we can hold a thousand thoughts, a lifetime of memories; Nostalgia. Why do we wish to imagine simplicity, wish our fears were childhood ignorance? After all ignorance is bliss, is it not? Where would it leave us in the end, what path’s would we be able to choose in present day. Every morning a quote is followed, or believed in some matters, that today is only starting off, that when we lay our heads down it’s the end of that day. We start at the end, and every step leads to a beginning, putting each puzzle piece together. Trying to put reason and meaning together. Sometimes what we find reason for, what we believe in is challenged. Put on a pedestal in front of the judges, challenged with new thoughts, meanings and ideas. Contemplating and procrastinating against choices we might have, future plans, but that too is challenged by what those choices may effect in present day or result in. What all does this mean? What change has it brought? What has it resolved? Don't present such questions to me, as this too is merely a thought.

Good afternoon!

The sun is shining very bright today, a reason for high spirits and wide eyed smile. I'm posting to say I have a ton of writings to post, and due to being busy with a various amount of things I haven't been on in awhile. But I'm back! I hope you are all enjoying this spring that has finally sprung! Time for spring cleaning and yardwork, right? Haha! I must say at least it's preparation for an evening better season - Summer! Another one of my favorite seasons, the Vancouverites coming together in celebration for summer, the beach, the exciting community events, garage sales(another one of my favorites, you find such pretty treasures!), the celebration of lights and I cannot forget one of the greatest events- Pride Festival! That's right ladies and gentlemen, I believe it's going to be even bigger this year, so prepare! Get your costumes out, your mardi beads they throw and if so- prepare the floats! Come celebrate love equality, but most of all for everyone to come out and have some fun! As time for me to prepare some upcoming posts, I will update you soon and enjoy this spring day! -kleo

Time is Ticking

Vials of dreams melt and disappear like the last fall of winter snow. I am there. Time dances on our fingertips, a tease as we cannot grasp it's tiny wings. We can only wait, and do so again soon after it leaves our possession. We count on time, each number, hour, minute, second. We schedule it, sometimes bend it. Mould and Sculpt it. Paint and write it. Friend and Foe.

Tonight will be by far one of the most beautiful sights this year, there will be a "Lunar Perigee" and it will be the biggest full moon in 19 years! The "Lunar Perigee" is the point in the lunar cycle when the moon is closest to the earth. The full moon could appear to be 14% bigger and 30% brighter in the sky, especially when it rises on the eastern horizon at sunset, but hopefully it will be at the right atmospheric conditions. I'm hoping that here in Vancouver we will be able to get a nice view of it, as it would be wonderful to take pictures of and even in the telescope it will be a wonderful sight! Get your camera's ready, and your eye on the sky. ;)